One of the biggest reasons placements fail is because of a mismatch between the parents’ expectations about fostering or adopting and the reality of it. In this toolkit, we will explore how these unrealistic expectations can interfere with our ability to see and parent the child we actually have. We will take a quiz to determine our child’s actual age vs their physical age. Lastly, we will look at how parents can manage their expectations and what they can do to take care of themselves.

  • What were your expectations before fostering or adopting? What were you child’s expectations?
  • How do these mismatched expectations cause conflict?
  • What is your child’s actual age?
  • What can parents do to temper their expectations, both before and after placement?


This Creating a Family Adoptive/Foster/Kinship Family Support Group Toolkit includes access to the Video, Facilitator Guide, Handouts, and Resource Guide.

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Foster/Adoptive Parent Support Group

Review all topics available in this series.